Is this an epidemic fuelled by parents?

Is life too easy?

Life is so easy for too many children; they don’t know what it means to work hard to acquire their desires. They ask for and are given just about everything they want far too easily. We are in a generation of excess. They want it all, and they want it now!

Watch this with your teenagers

Take as little as 5 minutes to watch this YouTube “Teenage Affluenza” video by World Vision with your teenager. The video does a great job juxtaposing the problems of young people in a rich country vs. the monumental difficulties young people in poor countries face, but in a sarcastic way that isn’t too overbearing or preachy.

Results of over indulgence

Some psychologists say that parents who overindulge their kids may be setting them up for future anxiety and depression. Recent studies show that kids who were given too much too soon often have difficulty coping with life’s disappointments as adults. They have a distorted sense of entitlement that gets in the way of successful relationships at home and in the future – the workplace.

What the experts say

Experts also warn that parents are spoiling their kids; not just with material things, but by failing to set limits, not requiring that chores be done on a regular basis, not making the child wait or earn money for items they want, and smoothing away all the child’s frustrations in order to keep them happy, no matter what. According to experts, this type of parenting can lead to lack of motivation, low self-esteem and irresponsible behaviour.

What happens when you don’t say no

Parent’s who can’t say no is an unexpected legacy of the affluent 90′s. This generation of parent has always been driven to give their teen every advantage. Now a growing number of psychologists, educators, and parents have come to the realisation that all this overindulging is producing lazy, self-involved, and irresponsible teenagers that are prone to drop out of school, continue to live with their parents into their mid to late twenties and beyond, and may develop a dependency on drugs and alcohol.

Be their parent

What children need most at this time is for parents to be a parent; not their best friend. Today’s parents put in more hours on the job; at the end of the work week it’s tempting to give in to the guilt for not spending quality time with their kids, or to buy peace with a “yes.” Overindulged children often have lower self-esteem, a direct contradiction to what most overindulgent parents are trying to achieve with their coddling, Instead of having a sense of self- confidence they have a sense of knowing that their parents will take care of things for them.

Saying No

According to psychologists parents need to find is a balance between the advantages of an affluent society and the critical life lessons that come from waiting, saving, and working hard to achieve goals. Don’t confuse permissiveness with love. In your quest to keep your child happy, you may forget to impart the ethics and values you really want to teach.

The Marketing Phenomenon

Susan Linn, an instructor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, believes most parents are doing their best in the struggle against what she calls a marketing maelstrom. Corporate America is largely to blame for our overindulged society, she said. “Parents and children are living in a commercially driven culture that glorifies conspicuous consumption, and that’s harmful,” said Linn, author of Consuming Kids: The Hostile Takeover of Childhood “Children are just inundated with very sophisticated marketing messages by companies that encourage them to nag their parents (to buy them things).”Those messages persuade parents and kids they can’t be happy without certain brands or products, she said. “People are buying into that belief that what makes a child happy is buying them things,” Linn said. “But the research tells us that things don’t make us happy.”

Remind yourself and your children: The best things in life aren’t things!



By: Tracy Tresidder

About the Author:

Bask In My Glory asked:


What would you do if…?

1:If you had a teenage son/daughter that is dating someone of the opposite sex. (I ask this I guess because I am in a homo-sexual relationship that my parents don’t know about)

2:If you caught this same child smoking.

3:If you caught this child watching and “adult movie”.

4:If it only contained people of the same sex as your child.

5:If your child was dating someone several years older than them.

6:If your child was an atheist.

7:If your child worshiped the devil.

8:If your child asked for a tattoo.

9:If you discovered your child was sexually active.

10:If your child was suicidal.
i meant same sex not opposite

2kool4u asked:


I read this in some Bible commentary, that Mary and Joseph were probably in their mid teens or thereabouts, since that is when people got married in their culture.

Kind of weird–if it happened in the US today, they’d probably be arrested (unless it was Alabama or somewhere like that).

NB this is not an anti-religious wind-up. I did actually read it. I can’t remember which commentary it was though.

Anybody throw any light on this?

sign543 asked:

…but he hates the taste. … Sign543 parenting teenagers

Bask In My Glory asked:


What would you do if…?

1:If you had a teenage son/daughter that is dating someone of the same sex. (I ask this I guess because I am in a homo-sexual relationship that my parents don’t know about)

2:If you caught this same child smoking.

3:If you caught this child watching and “adult movie”.

4:If it only contained people of the same sex as your child.

5:If your child was dating someone several years older than them.

6:If your child was an atheist.

7:If your child worshiped the devil.

8:If your child asked for a tattoo.

9:If you discovered your child was sexually active.

10:If your child was suicidal.

-AmOeBa- asked:


Will you allow ur teenage kid out to a party with his/her friends from school at a wine bar/restaurant/pub and they will have no alcohol or smoking just food and drinks.
Time 7-10 at night. Its totally safe the hosts parents can give your kid tansport home if its needed.On A Saturday Night.Just Once.
I mean by food! There will be dancing !
I mean by food! There will be dancing !
yea thats safe but i think youve got the wrong idea…. aged 13-16

иιcolε ♥ Miss Ascend Finance asked:


My dad called me last night (I have not lived with him since i was three) just as i was about to go out for a run with my friend. My boyfriend and i have been having sex for 6 months now, and we are both 15. In New Zealand it is not legal to have sex until you are 16. Anyway, my dad called me to say that he was taking me down to the police station to have my boyfriend charged with rape, and was going to have him locked up or have a restraining order on me.

Do you think ythat this is fair? Considering he does not have custody over me, and i have not lived with him since i was 3.

He is not going to anymore because my step siter (14) will most likely been having sex soon and he has warned her that he will do the same. And his partner has said that he will leave him if he dared.

Do you think it was a reasonable thing to do, would you do this to your children? Opinions…
Dee – I dont want him to be a part of my life and never have. He used to abuse my mum and thank god she left because he was a completye @$$hole. I have hated him forever and now this makes it worse.

Lindsey asked:


im 13 and i have a 15 year old sister and my sister always comes in my room. ive been telling her not to come in my room because she comes in, starts singing to my song thats on, tries on my clothes ( shes way bigger than me so she streches them out) and she goes thru my stuff. so today she did that i yelled at her and then she jumped on top of me and wouldnt get off and i was on my wooden bed foot board so it hurt . so we were fighting and my dad went on my side and my moms on hers. lately, everytime my mom gets mad at me she acts like a 2 year old! its so annoying. she got mad at me because im loud ( but i cant help it) and i had a song on and it wasnt to good and she was like i dont like your music. and i said okay and then she got mad at me like 10 minutes later and she threated to take away my laptop and ipod because of my song! i just dont get why everyone is being like this!

STRESS FREE MANAGING OF STRESSED CHILDREN & TEENAGERS IN PARENTING

(Based on author’s site www.geocities.com/chlstrs)

Parents’ child related stress extends to coping with children’s. Child stress is very common.

Pregnancy rates high on the official stress-scale and mothers sometimes suffer also ‘baby blues’. But, also, parents have to be alert to child stress symptoms and cope with their children’s stress –as well as to avoid becoming stressful themselves in doing so. This is common in parenting.

Parents did not use to have advice on child stress. National and international help and guidance to parents in child rearing and welfare only became available after the second world war. Parts of Africa and Asia entered the 21st century with help mostly, often only, from religious and charitable organizations. In western countries the UNICEF’s international efforts only gained generality in practice in the 1950s (when it was first theorised by Selye as the body’s [i.e., physiological] reaction when threat or danger is felt -a general adaptation syndrome which exceptionally at its most extreme is capable of leading to a nervous breakdown). There had not been any parenting advice on child stress. The parents’ job in dealing with child stress is not easy.

>>This is the gist of the generally agreed suggestions on child stress which may help…

A baby is born with fears: fear of falling and fear of noise. A child, right from the beginning, is susceptible to stress in those respects. This continues until the baby gets generally used to noise and learns to walk.

Young children may not have the vocabulary to express their fears. Teenagers feel misunderstood or have other sounding boards. In parenting these make a child’s stress, or the symptoms of child stress, difficult to notice.

Additionally, some child stress symptoms are unrecognisably mild.

Stress is caused, mostly, by a feeling of being unable to cope. This is so also in child stress. This feeling often arises from a situation the child is not used to and develops into child stress. Assure stressed children, and help.

Mild child stress also has symptoms. It may be in the form of irritability or mood changes on the part of the child. This may indicate lack of protein or carbohydrates (potatoes, pulses, sugar -fruits). Lack of these often causes mild stress. A stressed child may be lacking those.

Withdrawal indicates severe child stress. The stressed child may be being bullied.

Child stress symptoms vary as the child grows up. Being difficult indicates unsatisfied creativity. Enable difficult children creativity. Obsession or compulsion often is a guilt feeling. It may tempt to guilt transference. Suggest symbolic gestures, deeds to rid of it. These kinds of child stress are more suffered by children after they cease to be babies.

Babies dislike being alone and my suffer child stress. Be within sight as their protector.

Similarly, it causes the younger child stress if the child is alone in an unfamiliar environment. Accompany a young child to a new environment. Stay with the child, if possible, at first until the child is reasonably familiar with it.

Children’s fear of the dark is because one can best concentrate then. The child’s imagination comes into play about a horror movie or scary story. Teach the child to slightly open his eyes and concentrate on something in the bedroom. A night light helps reduce such child stress.

If separation or re-marriage has taken place, that may be the cause of the child’s stress surfacing in the form of fear of the dark. Talk to the child, explain, assure.

(But, if the child says that he can’t see well enough in the dark, it may be night blindness often caused by vitamin ‘A’ deficiency [eggs, cheese, whole milk -or cooked carrots]).

Also pubescence related guilt can cause child stress. Assure the child that it is normal and part of growing up.

Many teenagers suffer from child stress. Be a good listener to the teenager sufferers of stress. Show that you do understand. Don’t talk down, do not make light of teenagers’ dating problems. Teenagers like to be taken seriously and to be trusted.

Child stress is caused, both, the younger children and the teenagers also by what they regard as failure. On achievement oriented tasks, it is important in parenting to ensure to explain a child or that it is okay to try again.

These are the views of the experts on child stress. In parenting bear them in mind.

>>Coping with child stress may cause stress also to parents. Parents can not as easily cope with their children suffering from child stress if they themselves become stress sufferers.

Experts’ advice in parenting on easier coping with child stress is this: The adults raising children, first, should try to avoid stress for themselves. In parenting, especially if already having to cope with child stress, do rest. If at home, rest mid-morning. If you are at home and parenting young children, you should rest also for half an hour after lunch, or an hour before children return home.

If you cannot cope well, or if child stress appears severe, do consult a parenting or child stress expert.

Child stress is often contributed to because the parents ‘don’t understand’ the child. Don’t simply criticise or forbid children. Explain. Make allowance for the child’s age. Do not assume that having told the child ‘a million times’ the child necessarily understood or even that can, yet, understand what an adult can. It may lessen a child’s stress sometimes for parents to recall their own childhood…

(Verse by teacher the late Orhan Seyfi Ari…)

“Sometimes such fools we were, sometimes smart kids

Sometimes Satan’s tools, sometimes with saintly deeds”

The author has a website at: http://www.geocities.com/eoa_uk



By: Eren

About the Author:

Our teenagers’ lives are often a closed book to us and no matter how hard we try they simply will not let us open the book and read what is inside. But how are we supposed to protect out children and help them to develop into self-sufficient and confident adults if we do not know what they are doing, where they are going, who they are hanging out with, what they are thinking and how they are feeling?

Well, here are four tips that might help to open that closed book at least enough to take a glimpse inside.

Tip 1 – Start when your kids are young. It is much easier to keep a relationship rolling along than it is to start it up in the first place and this is especially true when it comes to our kids. If we start literally from the day they are born and build a close and strong relationship then life will be fairly easy when they reach those difficult teenage years. However, if we maintain our distance from our kids, or simply do not have time to get close to them, when they are young then it is going to become increasingly difficult to do so as they get older.

Tip 2 – Look for common ground. We all have things which we like to do on our own or without our partner and one partner might enjoy playing bridge with friends while the other is out playing golf or fishing. But, it is also important for partners to share interests and to have some things, such as cooking, gardening or hiking which they enjoy doing together. This is not simply true of partners and should also extend to parents and children. So, find something, and preferably two or three things, which you and your kids can enjoy together and which gives you a common interest to talk about.

Tip 3 – Listen to what your children say and keep an open mind. The teenage years are a time when children tend to form opinions very quickly and often without an adequate understanding of the subject to hand. This in turn means that they will often come out with comments which you find concerning or which you simply do not like or agree with. Take the time however to listen to what they have to say and try not to be judgmental. There is nothing wrong with telling them that do not agree with them or do not approve of something as long as you explain why and do not turn what you are saying into an attack on them.

Tip 4 – Spend time with your children. One of the main concerns for most teenagers is that they do not get to spend enough time with their parents and this is often seen as a case of their parents simply not caring enough about what they are doing or how they are feeling. One significant result of this is that teenagers also often feel that they cannot talk to their parents when they have a problem and want some help.

Many of us lead busy lives but were we talking about a client instead of our own child you can bet your bottom dollar that we would make the time needed to spend with that client. Well, our children are far more important than any client and so it should not really be too difficult to set aside some time each day, or at the very least each week, to devote ourselves solely to each of our children for a while.

There are many ways to make sure that we are spending enough time with our kids and often it is simply a matter of organizing ourselves for efficiently. One simple way to achieve our aims is to make sure that the whole family sits down to dinner each evening and that this is a time to both eat and talk. Another way to spend time with your teen is to drive him to school each morning rather than let him ride the bus. Yet another suggestion is to play sport together once or twice a week. There are countless ways to make time for your teenagers if you put your mind to it.



By: Donald Saunders

About the Author: