How much privacy should be given to teenagers?
Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010 at
2:56 pm
Harlequin asked:
I’m a teenager, not a mom first of all. I’m just asking this to see what other people think.
I’m a teenager, not a mom first of all. I’m just asking this to see what other people think.
Like, do you moniter what your kids do on the computer? (why/why not?)
read diaries?
snoop in their belongings?
anything else really. I’m just curious how other parents are.
Tagged with: Mom • Privacy • Teenager
Filed under: Parenting Teenagers
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Computer – yes I would monitor that because of the current safety issues with child molesters. Better to be safe then sorry when it comes to your child.
Read a Diary – no, that is a child’s own personal thoughts and them writing them down puts them in no danger so I see no harm in it.
Snooping – depends. I say give every child a chance, but the second they ruin that chance all rights are gone when it comes to snooping. Example, if you found weed in your daughter’s pocket of her pants while you were doing laundry…al rights gone! Snoop away! But if they have done nothing to break that trust, then no, snooping isn’t nice.
I’m not a parent, I’m a 15 year old girl but I think that…
teenagers should be given complete privacy.
parents should not check their teens internet history or snoop their belongings. I’m sure parents wouldn’t appreciate it if their teens went through their draws.
The only circumstances when a parent should read their child’s/teen’s diary or check their history is if it’s an emergency like the teen goes missing or something.
Thumbs me down teens, but I fully believe all children living at home should have everything they do on the computer fully monitored. I will be installing a chat logger and a key logger on my kid’s computers. I am 25 and have been using the internet for over 10 years. You can’t lie and tell me the internet is safe.
I think diaries are personal. I would never read my daughter’s diary.
And what do you mean, snoop in “their” belongings? Children own nothing. You don’t even legally own your underwear until you turn 18. As long as my children don’t give me any reason to doubt them I will respect their privacy, but if they act in a way that worries me they could be on drugs or what not, you better believe I will be going through their room while they are at school.
Edit: Teens, keep the thumbs down coming please. The truth hurts, sorry.
well im a teenager too, but if i were a mom, for computers, i probably would monitor it, not like standing over them while they’re on it, but maybe look over it or ask them what they do on it. but i would make sure they knew i was looking at it. and reading diaries is just terrible. thats a huge invasion of privacy. so is snooping. i mean why would anyone do that? i mean, do they want to lose their kids trust? i think teenagers should be given a good amount of privacy, cuz, not all teenagers get into trouble. it doesn’t really even have much to do with being teenagers, but more so with personality.
ok Eight toe is a perv/pedophile im sure
but im a teen and i think we deserve some privacy. i mean if you are worried about your son/daughter then sure check the history of the computer but don’t check their e-mail and IMs thats just to far
diaries definetly shouldn’t be read if my mom read mine i wouldn’t talk to her for a long time!
i doubt my parents snoop in my belongings but if other parents found out their kids did drugs then sure they can snoop.
I know my parents have access to everything I do internet-wise (passwords, user names, checking my history now and then etc) but only check it every so often or if they have a reason to.
As far as I know they don’t read my diary, if I had children I don’t think I would read their diary unless I thought they were doing something dangerous because otherwise it would be an invasion of privacy. I am pretty sure they don’t read mine because there are things in there that I am 100% sure they would of talked to me about if they had read it (no it’s not sex or drugs or anything).
My parents don’t necessarily ‘snoop’ in my belongings, but they do do my laundry so can check in my pockets and they occasionally clean my room (though I do it mostly, they just move some things if they think it’s too messy) so they have the right to check in my room. Well, they would have the right to check in my room anyway since they basically paid for everything in it, but just saying.
Parents are always curious it depends on the relationship between the two. Parents that are concerned about their child’s well being monitor the computer to a certain extent i.e.
passwords to all accounts
history of where you’ve been
making sure you’re not on myspace at age 13 or under
(since the legal age is 14)
you’re not talking to some psycho stalker online
for males: not looking at any explicit images..
for females: making sure you’re not in the images
that’s it for the computer
for a diary i think we aren’t that cruel for that but if we think something is going on that we can’t find and we feel the need to protect you from danger we will read it. that is what you kids don’t get we only do what we do to protect you from harm
cellphones:
a list of people you are in contact with
if we pay for the phone or not
but its most likely we do.
we check texts only if we need to
but you can’t hide who you call or text
we might not know what was said
but we do have the numbers on the bill
we snoop in belongings also if we need to
if we think you have drugs, cigarettes
maybe condoms if you’re in high school but we probably gave them to you anyway ( rather be safe than sorry right? )
we only do what we need to do
but some parents are more protective
again just because we love you.
basically: if you’ve got nothing to hide then why can’t we see it? And why would you hide it if you think you did nothing wrong? these are the questions a teen need to think about.
I would never do that! I want my daughter to trust me and be able to tell me anything!
OMG.
Reading diaries
WTH?
That’s OTT!
As a parent, I know we have to be aware of what our kids do online. Besides protecting them from predators, we have to watch to make sure they don’t post anything that will hurt them in their future. Exaggerating about going to a wild party and getting plastered and doing really crazy things might seem like a good way to impress your friends but even if you delete them, they are still in cyperspace and a future college recruiter or boss could see them and decide you are too unstable.
I remember my diary when I was a teen. So much of what I put into it was colored by my emotions and dreams at the time and the next day I didn’t feel that way any more. I’m sure if my parents saw it they would have thought I was into a lot of things that I really knew nothing about. I wouldn’t invade my child’s privacy to the extent of reading a diary unless I thought there was something going on that could hurt them and I was looking for clues. The same with going through their stuff.
I would go through my kid’s things in a heartbeat with a fine tooth comb if I suspected involvement in something dangerous or illegal. Their privacy wouldn’t be nearly as important to me as their safety.
I am a 15 yo girl, and yes my parents are MAJOR snoops, they read my emails monitor my computer history, and listen in on my phone calls, not to mention read my diary, put tracking devises in my purse, scare off any cute guy I meet, and go around looking like freaking CIA people! And to any parents who are reading this, by showing your kids no privacy, respect, or space, you will push them away and they will start doing things behind your backs that you would never dream of! So give your teens space, it may be hard, but it will be harder when your teen comes up to you and tells you she is pregnant, and you didn’t even know she had her first kiss! Or when your teen son gets in a car accident because he was drunk and afraid to call you. These are the things that happen to teens with parents who want to “protect” them by never giving them any respect or privacy. Think about it.
monitar- yes i would check if i’m suspicious, but i would most likey check at the end of every week.
reading THEIR diary- yes if their attuitude changed suddenly for [example] they became sad & depressed & sucidal! but if they came home high then yes.
snooping – no not if i feel i can trust them, but if they lie to me & lie then its over.
Ha, my momm dose and i never do anything wrong… so i guess shes just a little crazy lol
depends on the age of the teenager.
and snooping in my opinion is not okay unless you suspect drugs. its rude. and dont even get me started on diary reading. if my parents did that to me when i was a teen i would have been mortified.
there are some things that parents dont need to know.
i would say moniter what they do on the computer til theyre like 15.
Alyssa’s mom:
Privacy was something earned with responsible behavior. If you were living right, you had nothing much worth hiding. Diaries were never looked at because no one could read the handwriting and get past the tear splotches, and spilled cokes.
Kids today do not understand what their legal status is. I don’t even know if the Courts agree on what their status is.
I also grew up knowing all of things I had including clothing belonged in theory to my parents who provided it. I knew that not living up to expectation would cost me in terms of the things that were provided.
There is a disconnect now.
Children have ‘rights’ . WE had parents. We had responsibilities. Teens today seem to think people owe them the life they want.
Kids are scared today, they don’t have the security we had We at least knew where we stood. We might not have liked it but most of us learned to live with in the parameters. We followed rules. We got food, shelter and clothing in return. We worked, we got money. We went to school got good grades we went to college. We got poor grades, we did not go to college. We learned a trade.
Today’s kids do not have security. Mom and Dad might blow in separate directions any time. Bribes work. I will stay in school and out of trouble IF you get me (whatever expensive toy ) I want. I won’t bad mouth to Mom about that girl i saw eating breakfast in your apartment if you pay the insurance on my car for 6 months or a year.
That is not security. I think we need to look at how we are parenting our kids.
Im 14 and I have my own laptop, and in it I have a password to log onto it at all (which my mom doesnt know), a myspace, facebook, AIM, and numerous emails which my mom is not invoved with one bit, and thats how its supposed to be.
I don’t have kids, but I’ll answer based on what I think I would do.
As with everything else there are some circumstances that require different responses or actions. Typically I would allow my kids a good deal of freedom, to figure out who they are and what they want out of life, but there has to be boundaries. I’d monitor their computer time and activities so they don’t get ****** into **** or start chatting with someone who is looking to harm kids. I value privacy and wouldn’t want anyone to read my journal. I really can’t see myself snooping through their things or reading their diaries or journals unless there’s a legitimate reason. If I suspect they’ve gotten themselves into some kind of trouble and haven’t come to me about it (rape, sex, drugs, drinking, etc.) I’d **** to do it, but yes I’d probably have to snoop and read. My niece started a journal at our house. Granddad was looking over her shoulder. Mom scooted him away. I told her something like, “If you don’t want anyone reading your journal, keep it somewhere safe and make sure no one’s reading what you’re writing.” Privacy is very important, and it’s emotionally painful when it’s violated.