Comments on: What if your husband told you he needed a break?

By: Fonz

Fonz — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 16:48:59 +0000

I have wondered how you guys could maintain the pace you go. The ice storm and 10 or so people there for days does take a toll. He has stress that I can’t imagine with 008 in the war. I remember the guys that worked for Dad sure were happy when I got back from Ft Polk. They said it was hell while I was gone. Nothing to compare with what 007 is feeling. Mel, it’s like you talked about and the relationship among men. 007 would give anything to trade places with 008. It’s a “man” thing. Being at home with your Son fighting is hard to swallow. Especially him being a Vet. Three tours, That, for him, must be awful. People need some “quiet” time. Your understanding is most important. I feel it has nothing to do with what is going on at home but, in Afghanistan. I expect that he is a perfectionist and his Family has always been his first concern but, when your Son is where you can’t watch out for and protect, it would eat on him or me like a cancer. Getting worse every day.

By: Barb Outhere

Barb Outhere — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 09:45:28 +0000

I would say let him have his “space” but with some limitations, so you both know what is expected.
Is it just a solo holiday he’s asking for, or it is an unofficial separation?
What length of time is he wanting, hoping for? Days, weeks, months, or longer? (And “I don’t know” isn’t good enough). Get a fixed period. That way you both know when its to finish or when other decisions have to be made by.
What is he wanting to do during that time, and do you agree? Like are you both expecting him to act married, or is he wanting some pretend single time?
How much does he get to spend on himself, and what do you get too? If its a holiday, do you get one too later on? If its free spending money do you get a turn later? That helps stop any resentment about him indulging himself when you can’t/haven’t.
Is there any health factors to consider? Is the break all he needs, or does he, or do you two need some counseling to bring your relationship back on track?
Is he expecting you to cope on your own or have you a support network, or can you afford someone to help you out while he has his break? You don’t want to be the next victim of stress. has he considered how this might affect you, and the family? Does he take that into consideration?

By: ~SnOoTchiE BoOtChiEs ~

~SnOoTchiE BoOtChiEs ~ — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 00:58:18 +0000

wow u must be very secure and thats a awesome thing !

thats very nice of u to understand his needs but how about you both go on a vacation and only have dinner together but do different activities.

take a vacation and plan things separately !!!

By: Chad B

Chad B — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 02:03:50 +0000

Ah, he loves you and the every day crap with life is just getting to him. I say take a second honeymoon and don’t talk about anything stress wise back home. Everyone can use a break (even you) and anyways, you deserve it. I have seen really cheap cruises lately (like $300 a person) maybe you can do something like that??

Your marriage is great, I always read everything you write and hope we are like that years down the road. Keep your head up, it’ll be ok.

And to answer your question to me earlier: My daughter is sick again (another infection) and my boss is going on a sabatical so during that time, I’m finding a new job, lol. But everything is going smooth and good!!

By: BORICUA

BORICUA — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 17:14:38 +0000

GIRL YOU NEED TO WAKE UP…I CANT BELIEVE THAT EVEN MEN THAT AGE ARE STILL USING THAT STUPID LINE…OH I NEED SOME TIME…TIME FOR WHAT? HE’S GOT A FAMILY THAT NEEDS HIM….I WOULD BE PISSED NOT MAD

By: J M

J M — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 16:13:37 +0000

Assuming that it’s true and there is no other woman or anything else that he’s keeping from you I would say he’s having a hard time coping with life and all the stresses. Up-side is he’s telling you what he needs rather than hitting the bottle or cheating on you, which is how most men handle stress. Maybe you’re not mad because you could see it coming. I think that there needs to be some boundaries set that both of you agree to…he can’t just disappear and say I’ll be back when I’m back. I would sit down and determine how long, where he will be, that he keeps in contact and that he speaks to a councellor while he’s gone. I’m not sure how religious you are but there are retreats accross the world that he can go to and get a ‘guided vacation’ that includes therapy, time away, reflection, prayer………..I wish you luck.

By: Dani Addeo

Dani Addeo — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 07:06:33 +0000

I would try to be understanding and be there for him and if he does not want to go without me I would go but give him alone time when u get there too. He is just stressed I think.

Good Luck

By: Mekia

Mekia — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 03:25:11 +0000

but he won’t go without you!!!!
his space is an activity that doesn’t involve you and you understand because I sure you could use the break also. suggest golf, some type of club, CHURCH function for men…all in all he won’t go without you. that means alot.

By: gypsy:)

gypsy:) — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 05:41:58 +0000

it depends how much time he wants,if it is for a little while thats no problem,

By: guilliamskurt

guilliamskurt — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 17:41:51 +0000

Why are you not mad? Because getting away from high stress situations is something every human being on earth desires. Duh?