Comments on: Why do parents get upset when teenagers don’t want to join family gatherings?

By: Belle

Belle — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 08:04:25 +0000

Parents get upset because it’s rejecting the family unit. I don’t think there is anything wrong with teenagers attending family gathering’s every once in awhile. It shouldn’t be discouraged as it is your family that will be there in the end for you.

By: kris55a

kris55a — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 14:49:37 +0000

until you are living in your own home and paying your own bills you are nothing more than a big 5 year old.
you should be doing what your parents ask as you are eating their food, using their utilities and living under their roof. you wouldn’t even be waring clothes if not for them….
shut up and do as you are told!!! what you want is of no importance.

By: Trekzta

Trekzta — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 16:29:05 +0000

They may know you are 15 and not 5 because a 5 year old does as hes told. To tell you the truth you sound like me 6 years ago – too big for your boots. Dont complain about it. Use these years you have at home to take the “guidance’ your parents are teaching you cos when you move out your gonna need it. Believe me – its big world out there and without your family and friends you’ll get eaten alive…ha ha.
I moved when i was 18 cos i was sick of ‘being treated like a kid’ – but i was still a kid.
Just dont be too big for your britches.

By: Squeakers

**Squeakers** — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 19:53:02 +0000

Parents like to have their kids around for holidays,and special social gatherings. Let your parents know ahead of time,that you’ve made plans elsewhere. Stick around long enough to let certain people see you,(like grandparents,and family that live far away). When your ready to leave,tell your parents,and say your goodbyes to everyone.

By: DorothyGale

DorothyGale — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 20:30:30 +0000

That is the difference teens and adults. The adults don’t really want to go through it either, but they **** it up and do it anyways. Adults do lots of stuff they don’t “feel” like doing, but they do it anyways. Teens think that they should get to do what they want because they are getting older and almost adults. The choices that adults make have to take others into consideration, and it is important for family to stay close to eachother. If everyone in your family didn’t go because they didn’t want to, then your family would drift apart and most family members would lose contact all together. News flash, no one likes Great Aunt Ruth’s* sloppy wet kisses or Uncle Fred’s* bad breath, and their bratty cousins, but they are our family and it is important to know them. When you get older they all start dying off one by one, and all you wish for is that you had spent more time with them. You can **** it up for one day.

By: Julie H

Julie H — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 04:01:07 +0000

I called my Mom to ask the answer to this one. She says that the reason is all the relatives ask where the kids are and that continues the whole time. Where is John? Where is Susan? It gets embarassing for the parents. Just go along, be nice and you will likely be rewarded by your parents for making them look good in front of the relatives. That is how it worked at my house.

By: tjnstlouismo

tjnstlouismo — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 05:33:15 +0000

How many times a month does this actually effect you? My rules were that if I have to go, then you have to go. In a few years you will get to make up your own mind. And a few short years your family will have passed away, so you won’t have to worry about going to any family gatherings at all.

By: nursecracker

nursecracker — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 14:28:05 +0000

Well, because sometimes it’s nice to go to family gatherings to create some family memories (even if they aren’t that great)

Yes i can remember doing things with my kids when i’d rather have done something else, going to countless softball games, wrestling matches and football games. I took them where ever they wanted to go day after day, month after month, year after year… Fed them when i didn’t want to cook, buying new shoes so they’d have the “IN” fashion, when they really didn’t need new shoes…. I went to school plays they were in even though i was bored to tears. tolerated their friends.. Did you know my phone was tied up for years? I took them on vacation with me when i’d rather have gone alone (but heck the kids wanted to go, so i dragged them along to be nice). I bought them TV’s, video games, computers. Gave them privileges, paid for their car insurance, paid for driver’s ed, paid for proms, dates, this that and the other thing for COUNTLESS YEARS.

gee, i was a terrible parent… now i wonder WHY i’d ever have wanted the kids to be involved in a family gathering. What WAS i thinking?

take care.

By: jefflc34

jefflc34 — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 08:38:42 +0000

Because they have to finally admit that they are old and not cool.

By: flyer29

flyer29 — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 02:45:16 +0000

I understand why parents do this; they want you to love them and they feel like they are losing you. It is hard for parents to accept the need for self discovery and space from their children; after all ; they have been the primary guiding force and influence until now.

With that said, yes I agree that your parents should give you space, and not make you feel obligated.

I also believe that teenagers who are allowed this space to “grow” and figure things out on their own eventually realize when they mature that family is more important than anything else and it is the biggest part of who they are and they become proud of this and become active participants in the family bond.

I also believe that teenagers whose parents stifle them and obligate them to every single family get together generally grow up with a negative opinion of family and it’s importance to our fiber as humans; and generally spend less family time together as adults.